Pied en Canard

from:
Alpine Climbing: Techniques to Take You Higher

By
Mark C. Houston & Kathy Cosley

Tetons part 5 of 6 explained. sort of.

During the previous evening, after getting up and down the Middle Teton, my partner and I chatted about random things before falling asleep. As the conversation drifted to the topic of childhood, he became very unhappy.

Things were now awkward. Anything I tried to offer was met with angst. All I could do was remain silent and not make things worse.

Moments later he leaves the tent. I remember being drowsy, peeking out as he left, seeing the stars, and thinking how much more awesome they looked from 11,000ft in the Tetons.

This is going to sound immature, un-zen, and selfish but-

• A 40-something year old climber dude was having a breakdown about their childhood...
• at 11,000 ft (what could be more cathartic than being at 11,000 for the first time?)
  
• on MY trip... Not just any trip, but the ultimate mother of any-and-all trips I had ever taken in my life up to this point.

By the time he came back, I was asleep.

The next morning, he announced that he would not continue. There were two nights left.

For whatever reason, as if by reflex or force-of-habit, I automatically went into debriefing/what-went-wrong-analysis mode. Perhaps it was my attempt at salvaging the circumstances.

At one point on the trip he told me that I (my personality) was different now than when we met at Sushifest. I believe the word he used to describe me was "clinical". He was not wrong. While Sushifest was party, the Tetons were more like an objective, almost a mission. Albeit a fun one.

"Do we have to discuss this now?" was his response to my inner robot that accidentally escaped for a moment. We briefly discussed gear. He offered to carry some of it down. I was still stunned at his decision and not thinking straight. All our climbing gear was stashed near Disappointment peak. He said that he was going to the stash to get his helmet and harness. Again, he offered to carry whatever gear I didn't want back down. Unfortunately I didn't know which gear that was.

I didn't think of it at the time, and I don't mean to minimize anyone's pain, but as someone later said to me in Tuolumne, it's never too late to have a happy childhood.

Those that know me well know that I say that with more credibility
than your average bear... which could be interpreted me being very childish.

How Do I Get There From Here?

Yes, there actually was a real song with that line going though my head at that time. (But I had to look it up).

The line is:

I know the shortest distance between two points is a straight line
But I'll climb any mountain that you want me to climb

Its from the the bridge of the song "How Do I Get There From Here"
by Deana Carter
from the album "Did I Shave My Legs For This?"

I feel like I should be too cool and not admit to liking this poppy-like-bubble-gum song.

You can see the lyrics and hear it for free on Rhapsody

Ortenburger Beta: Fairshare Tower incl Corkscrew

If you're going to climb the Tetons, you it's definitely worth getting the Ortenburger book. Much better than trying to scrimp by piecing together random stuff off the internet!

John Sherman the Vermin

http://www.chesslerbooks.com/eCart/viewItem.asp?idProduct=1297

This is a brand new, full size (2 1/2'x3') color poster of the great Rock Climber and Boulderer John 'Verm' Sherman climbing a 5.13 in Australia, in flip flops, while drinking a beer! This is a classic photo that was used in the Patagonia Catalog, and perfectly captures Verm's anarchic style of climbing. SIGNED by John Verm Sherman

The climb is called Lord of the Rings, 5.13, at Mount Arapiles in Australia, one of the world's greatest rock climbing areas. Taken in 1987, Verm is drinking a Cooper's Best Extra Stout. This poster should adorn the walls of all young climbers and climbing gyms! It can be taken as a satiric jab at the hero style of many other posed rock climbing photos!

What is more, the poster is SIGNED boldly in magic marker by John Verm Sherman (not shown in photo). We bought these direct from John Sherman, and he signed these on our kitchen table!

The poster is 3 feet high and 2 1/2 feet wide and is in full color. Postage on posters is $5 USA, $10 foreign airmail, for any quantity of posters. We will charge that in addition to any books you buy, after check out.

Jack-o-lopes

from: http://vortex.weather.brockport.edu/~jmassare/riley/sum2000.htm
A common occurrence in the mountains of Wyoming, the Western Jackalope is a solitary creature fearful of humans. Being one of the rarest species in the world many dispute their existance. However, legends tell stories of jackolopes having the ability to imitate the human voice. They repeat the songs and stories of cowboys guiding their herds, like phantom echos coming from nearby hillsides. And some believe that the milk of a jackolope can treat many ailments. Jackolopes are shy and clever, choosing to remain mysterous in the minds of humans.


more Jack-O-Lope links:
http://www.jibjab.com/view/72671
http://www.jackalopejunction.com/Jackalopes_for.html
Good Ol' Wikipedia
http://www.jackalope.com/